Clearing My Thoughts

PHEW! I'm so glad to get my spring schedule done and over with. I've been bickering with my mother for the past few months about the fact that I may not want to be a vet. Its been the source of my anxiety. Then I got so caught up in the normal school-then work routine that I didn't realize the date for scheduling classes was so soon. Luckily I got in with my advisor and it ended up being a great friday because I feel like an inteligent person has confirmed my realization that vet school isn't going to pay off and that there are other jobs that I would be interested in that I can make the kind of money that I want to make.
The other day at work was AWESOME! A hit-by-car dog came in and I helped wrap the broken back leg which was a complete compound brake. I felt the bones crunching as I did it. I felt bad for the dog in pain but it was still to cool not enjoy. Tonight there's a king charles doggy having puppies which is always a treat to see.
Going from a vet office that has clients with money to a vet office that is in an area where people don't have the money to spend on their pets has been really eye-opening. I love animals but honestly not other people's animals. And being a vet is helping people more because they only bring their animal to you when something horribly wrong happens. I'm definitly seeing that people cut trips to vet out of their agenda when their pockets are tight.

A good saturday

Last week my vet office got a new doctor and i'm sooooooooo happy. At first i was a little pissed because he's indian and i could barely understand him and i'm thinking "great not only do we have foreign human dr.'s but now they're taking over the vet world too" But the guy is so chill its ridiculous. He makes the day so stress free. The other dr. is a very nice lady but stresses the hell out of the techs because you can never make her happy it's always our fault always something we did. I had such a good saturday because i was able to focus on what the clients needed and not what i was going to fuck up. It was definitly the first time I left that hospital without wanting to rip my hair out. Plus this new Dr. is ready to help the techs get temperatures and pull blood when we can't seem to find another tech with a free hand. I ask him a billion questions too and he has no problem answering them. The cutest english bulldog came in today and i almost stole him. He was so wrinkly it was adorable.

Grrrr

This Sunday I skipped doing blogs because I was so pissed that the blogs were not going to be counted anymore I decided to rebel but I guess that just made me more pissed that blogs do really count now.
But now that my day just keeps getting worse it'll be easier to rant on and do this here blog. I'm completely overwhelmed. I don't know what to do with my life. Since I was little I've wanted to be a veterinarian but now that I'm faced with the reality of it, I'm not so sure. I'm not sure it's worth it economically. It seems the new vets that I've befriended say it's not worth it they're in debt out of their eyeballs and aren't making the kind of money that they thought. Whereas the older settled vets say that they love their job and that's the most important thing. Then again the older vets attended vet school when it was much cheaper, when you'd come out of vet school oweing the equal amount of money that you would earn the first year being a vet.
Plus I'm obviously a girl and have to factor in having children. I don't want to be an old mom nor do I never want to see my kids so being a vet may not be the greatest idea.
Right now I hate my schedule. I'm up at 5am for the gym, come to school then right to work then all over again the next day. I've been doing that since highschool and looking back I really regret working so much because I feel like I didn't get to have as much fun as I wanted. I don't want to continue this madness I have mental breakdowns atleast once a month. I can't wait to have just one job and THATS IT! Work during the day and have evenings and nights and WEEKENDS to have a life. A 9-5 job sounds wonderful.
I'm thinking vet school will not pay off until I'm really old and I'm not the kind of person that wants to bust my ass while I'm young just watching life pass by without having one and then bam when I'm old suddenly be able to do things I want to but not really because I physically am deteriorating. I'm sick of the lifestyle I have and I think that is going to be my persuading factor because I really need to chill out and enjoy the things and people I have a lot more.

I Quit!

I officially quite my Wawa job and am now down to one job! I'm not trying to sound like an overachiever by saying this but I worked too hard for Wawa. There's a certain amount of things that need to get done in each shift and without a manager on my shift it's hard to motivate pple to get things done so I'd end up putting everything on my shoulders because I have OCD and everything HAD to get done for me to feel like I earned my pay. I made the job waaaaaaaay too stressful I mean it's freakin Wawa. I worked with some nice girls but when it comes to working they were lazy and that's extremely frustrating to me. I'm glad to be down to just one job.

Tonight was the first motorcycle ride where I was driving my bike and he was driving his. Usually I have to ride bitch on my own bike so tonight was awesome. We went to Snipes Farm to run around in the corn maze once it got dark but the corn maze wasn't that spectacular because the corn wasn't high enough. It's great when you can't see over top of the stalks but the stalks only went up to my chest. Apparently it's the fifth or sixth year of growing corn in these fields so there isn't much nutrients left in the soil. But the motorcycle ride was awesome.

Saturday night I went to my friend Katie's for their annual pumpkin carving thing. It sounds like a boring family oriented event but this year was especially good because everyone is considered old enough to drink so it was a bunch of college kids getting drunk and using sharp knives. It was fun. I want to go to some kind of haunted event but they all seem kinda lame. The one year when I was at Elizabethtown College I took my friend to this one hayride that rocked they dropped fake pigs just above your head that were dripping with fake blood. The penintensary is supposed to be cool I've been there during the day and it's creepy so I'm thinking it's probably good. Who knows...

I went to see Where the Wild Things Are and there's literally 10-15 minutes left of movie to go and the screen goes pitch black. You can't do that to people! Luckily we got these re-admission ticket things but still I was quite pissed especially because I spent the extra 4 dollars to see it in Imax....plus i was trying to be nice and was treating my boyfriend's sister to this particular movie. Ugh! They're lucky I wasn't completely fond of the movie. It made me feel like I'd have to be on drugs to understand the meaning behind the whole movie.
But anyways I think it's just the weekend, completely uneventful. My boyfriend ditched me and went to the poconos all weekend with his buddies, which don't get wrong I'm happy he went away and had a good time with his friends but I can't wait to see steve after work on fridays so when I got off and called him and he was suprisingly on his way up to the poconos I was devastated, so did the poor me dance and got over it.
My Grandparents are driving me insane!!! They moved to N.Carolina a few months ago and so are visiting for a week. For the years that they have lived 10 minutes away they never once visited (if they did it was for a family birthday party where they ate and left sorta thing), the only time I saw them is if I wanted to fish with my grandpop or garden with my grandmother. So spending a whole week with them and actually getting to see how it would be living with them makes me want to shoot myself in the head. Now I know where my mother gets all of her questioning skills and negative nancy attitude. I sware my grandmother does crack she doesn't sit still and all she eats is bread and cheese sandwhiches and tells me I need to eat more. My grandfather is a pain in the ass with his "duct tape and spray paint will fix it" idea. He's not as bad because he just sits there like an old dog. It's my grandmother she's so anxious. She keeps suckin back the coffee which makes it ten times worse. If I get another bullshit 'I'm old so I'm going to try to talk like I have wisdom' lecture I don't know what I'm going to do but it will be bad.

Whatcha Gonna Do When They Come For You

My mom told me about my little cousin getting in trouble with a group of his friends and 3 out of the 4 kids (including my cousin) were getting fined for some stolen remote control car. The fourth kid wasn't getting anything because his father was a police officer. I was in a bad mood as it was when she was telling me this so I went on this huge rampage about how unfair that was for my cousin and that fourth kid should get extra punished because this has probably happened before blah blah blah.
Then the very next night I was sitting at home with Steve and we decided to go to my buddy Ryan's house. It was around midnight and I was completely sober whereas Steve had already downed half a bottle of Jack D and a couple beers so I said I would drive. We get in the car and go to leave but I forgot my wallet on the kitchen table so I ran inside to grab it. When I got out Steve was in the driver seat so I said "if you think you can drive go for it but it's stoooopid." I wasn't going to turn down getting drivin somewhere it seemed like such a treat since im always driver. Ryan's house is only 3 minutes away so I figured no biggie anyways.
The whole time he's swerving and speeding and I'm screaming because it's my car and i start hitting him so finally he stops at this one stop sign and leans over for a kiss to say sorry i'll start driving better. Then he pulls out to make a left and what do you know he totally cuts out in front of a car. Not just any car but a COP CAR! I watch the cop turn around in the side mirror and start freakin out tellin Steve we should switch seats since Steve already has a DUI or two under his belt. He pulls over before the cop gets to us and acts all cool saying he'll take care of it. I have a phobia with cops so I'm sitting there sweating bullets fidgeting about to run away.
So the cop pulls up behind us and comes up to the window, I hand Steve the insurance and registration. Just as the cop asks Steve if he'd been drinking I looked at the cop's face and it was Jimmy! I yelled HEY JIMMY! and he was like HEY LINDSAY! and gave Steve back my insurance and stuff and started asking if I was going on this motorcycle ride the next weekend. I know Jimmy because he comes into the Wawa I work at all the time as a biker dude and as a cop. We've gone on a couple rides together and I've seen him at bike shows and such. As we drove away with nothing but a "You guys be safe!" Steve just started laughing his ass off. It was a definate sigh of relief to see Jimmy's face.
Then I realized I shouldn't have bitched so much for that fourth kids fortune of having a cop as a dad. As long as you're on the right side it's awesome when shit like that happens.

Sewing

At the moment I'm reupholstering a motorcycle seat with fake leather and bandanas. My boyfriend bought his bike about a month ago. He got an awesome deal, $1500 for a 2005 883 sportster. The catch was that the bike was in a garage fire buuuut the motor is fine so only exterior things like cables and switches need to be replaced. Thus I now have a new sewing project. It's deeming itself very difficult though, I've never attempted an upholstery like this, I've done seats and such but this has to fitted and BADASS. The badass part is the hard part because people look at details when it comes to motorcycles. Seats and couch covers are easy because they don't have to be precise and they can look crafty.
I love to sew. I'm not sure if I sew correctly though because I teach myself. That's the fun part, thinking of how to go about making it then designing everything about it. I love taking raw materials like flat fabric and making it into something that people can use and enjoy. Not many people think they can sew and think the things I make are amazing but really I bet if they tried they could do it. I've made lots of really cool blankets. One had a rebel flag with a skull and crossbones on one side and the chevy emblem on the other. The most recent blanket had cockateil on one side dressed like elvis costello and it read "Elvis is king" and the other side had a guiness bottle on it. Everything was sewn directly out of my mind peiced out of different colored fabrics.
I made a wookie pillow once for my friend's birthday. I took hairy fabric and a slipper and created the wookie pillow.
I've been getting really frustrated lately because my sewing machine has been jamming terribly on me and it's annoying because nobody has sewing machines to borrow these days and I have no idea how to go about fixing one. I think it's about time I learn to tear it apart and rebuild it. Like a motor.
My next project which the leather just came in the mail for is Steve's leather jacket because he's a dumbass and burned the sleeve on an exhaust.
Hopefully next spring if I have an extra $600 laying around I can take welding classes at the tech school and start making things out of metal!